Hello I missed you all!

HELLO everyone! First of all I want to apologize for the abrupt end on the blog. I hit a wall emotionally in May of 2022. It was a super tough time for me, my family, and my marriage. Summer of 2022 was the toughest of my life! It was no way my intention to walk away from the blog, it just happened. I found I had nothing positive to say, and because of that I choose to stay silent.

So much has happened in the past few years!

SOOO much has happened in the past 2 years. It’s almost incredible when I think about it, and I have grown so much as a person. I have overcome such huge obstacles it almost blows my mind when I sit down and think about it. I’m still here! I have lots to tell you all! Lots to share!

Tomorrow I become bionic! 110%

Tomorrow I embark on another huge obstacle, and I am taking you all along. I have had nightmares about my journey for weeks, and today I somehow feel calm and ready! I am 100% a sappy, emotional, girl. That I know. But today I feel stronger somehow. Like it’s time to find my voice again. So many of us have huge obstacles to overcome in our lives. Today I realize that in order to tackle mine I am going to share the journey.

2022!

In 2022 my husband asked for a divorce……there I said it! And I’m no longer ashamed to say it aloud! I returned from an amazing trip in Door County with my mom and found him sad, lonely, and angry. That summer was the hardest of my life. We separated for a few months, and eventually found ourselves back together. Every day is a journey. Every day is hard, but we prevailed. I still have lots of work to do… so does he. Marriage is not easy, never easy. But we are trying, and some days are better than others. Patience, empathy, and humility, are all things we need to find every single day!

The Seymour Tornado!

In summer of 2022 the tornado that hit Seymour, WI, went right over our home. We luckily did not have much damage, just a few pieces to our roof, but lived without power for a long time, and struggled along with our neighbors to rebuild our community.

I found a tumor under my left breast!

In July of 2022 my OBGYN found a large tumor that we thought was breast cancer. After lots of tests I was one of the lucky ones.

I failed at work, I was emotionally lost, alone, in a depression I haven’t seen since I was trampled in 1993 at Camp Randall Stadium in Madison, WI. I was lost……completely lost. I worked hard to get myself back but it took so long to find peace again. I still am searching today. I have to make a conscious effort to bring calm to my constantly racing creative mind!

I had my right knee replaced!

In fall of 2022 I had a complete right knee replacement. Let me tell ya, that is not for the faint of heart. It was the longest, most painful, experience of my life! I still struggle today. I was ignored by my first therapist (I assume because of my age) and finally after the first few weeks found my human angels at ATI in Green Bay. They picked me up, helped me endured countless cry sessions, and endless long tough days. I went back to work in spring of 2023 and struggled, man did I struggle. I was so lost physically. By August I started to feel myself again. But still was in so much pain.

In August of 2023 I turned 50!

I did, I turned 50 dam years old. It still blows my mind. I bought myself a brand new Ford Bronco and I have never been more proud of who I am. Some days more than others, isn’t that true for everyone! I should not have spent the money, but I did, and I love her so much. I named her Arlene, in honor of my grandmother. She is incredible, keeps me safe in crazy weather, and is just plain so dam fun to drive.

And tomorrow I do it all over again…

Tomorrow I am scheduled for my left total knee replacement. Yesterday was my last day at work, and the holidays kicked my ass! Literally kicked my butt so so hard. Working, hosting family gatherings, and countless hours still working on this new right knee. I am such a perfectionist that nothing is every good enough for me. I needed to have the house look like the North Pole of course! Why not!

So today I fight!

Today I am consciously choosing to help anyone I can who struggles, and honestly myself. I find writing so therapeutic! I have grammar issues once in a while, occasionally spell something wrong, and my story is not for everyone. But it is mine! And absolutely no one can take that from me. I am choosing to fight, believe in myself, allow myself tears, and take one day at a time. I am NOT good at that at all. I am a planner so taking each day as it comes is super hard. I need to know when, who, how much, and for how long. I LOVE a good post it note, and I have lists everywhere. If I can write it down, and cross it off I feel invincible. If I pull my “notes” in my phone I have 710. 710 that is insane!

SO here’s to HIM!

I am leaving it to HIM, to open the doors each day, take on the pain, lead me down the right path, and dry my tears! I am going to share the terrible, the good, the EXCELLENT, the gross staples and incision with you! I can’t wait for you all to meet my therapists they are incredible human beings! And together we will get to spring! And soon I will be back up North floating in my peaceful sanctuary…..talking to Him, while being so astonished I made it through this again!

CAUSE SPRING 2024 IS JUST 75 DAYS AWAY!

AND I WILL BE WALKING INTO IT, READY TO HIKE, GO BACK TO WORK, AND TAKE ON THE WORLD! 🌎